Wednesday, August 6, 2014

the stupid bike rider

Some may think that I'm a fairly smart girl, but sometimes I am just clueless.  Take last night, for example.  My hip flexors had been sore lately (no idea why, but that's another post), so I thought I would go for a bike ride instead of a run.  That actually seems pretty smart.  Point for Michelle.

So lately I've been doing my exercise a little later in the evening because it gives me a chance to get home, see the kids, make dinner, eat a little, then head out while they are all watching Wheel of Fortune or Criminal Minds or whatever.  So it was 7:00 and it looked like it might rain, and I thought I'd better get going before it does.  Quick change into bike clothes and off I went.

Right away I noticed that my back tire looked a little low.  Shit.  Well, I thought I'd just keep going and see how it went.  If it was really hard to bike, I'd just pull over and pump it up with my handy-dandy bike pump I had bought earlier in the summer.  See this post.  The guy at the bike shop sold me this specific pump telling me it would work with my skinny little tire hose thing.  Another point for Michelle for having a bike pump.

This is part of where I'm clueless.  I never actually read the directions or tried out the pump.  I just put it on my bike and assumed that it would work fine when I needed it.  He told me it was the right one, so I believed him.  Minus 2 points for Michelle for not checking or learning how to use it.

Ok, back to last night-- I just kept riding and was probably about 10 miles from my house.  It was 7:30 and because it was overcast, and later in the summer, it was starting to be a little dark-ish.  No big deal.  I looked down and my tire looked really low and it was hard to bike up a hill so I thought I'd just pull over and fill it.

I hopped off, got the pump and tried to pump my tire.  PSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH was all I heard.  Completely flat tire now.  Womp womp.

Tried to pump again but I couldn't get the pump attached properly to the tire thing.  God damn, I'm pathetic.  I don't even know the right words to use.

Oh, guess what?  I didn't bring my phone either.  Minus 2 points to Michelle.

So I walk to the nearest house to ask to use the phone.  I go to the front door (which clearly no one uses, but I was NOT walking through their garage to knock on that door), knock and wait.  The guy looks at my like I've got six heads and I explain my predicament and ask to use the phone to call my husband to come get me.  He leaves me outside (fine with me) to get the phone, then hands it out to me (like I pose some threat to him in my bike shoes and bike helmet...... whatever) and call my house.

Of course, no one answers.  I call my husband's cell phone.  Goes to voicemail.  ugh.  Meanwhile the guy at the door clearly just wants me to leave.  He asks where I live.  I tell him.  Whoa, that's a long ways away.  Yah, dude.  Thanks.  It's really not that far if your bike doesn't have a flat tire.....  Call the house again and Princess answers.  Phew!  Help is on the way.

I thank the guy and head back to my bike as he deadbolts the door.  Jeesh.

I start walking in the direction of home just so I don't get malaria from all the friggin mosquitoes trying to suck me dry.  I'm walking my bike, carrying my bike shoes, on the side of a road almost to the end of a peninsula, and it is almost dark.  Three cars pass by me and not one single one stops to see if I need help.  That seriously surprised me.  I heard the first car coming and I was quickly in my mind trying to decide if I would accept a ride to meet my husband half way or just keep walking.  No matter.  They drove right by.

I suppose I will admit that I was not waving them down or asking for help, but seriously, I like to think that if I saw a woman at the end of the earth, alone, at dusk, walking her bike and carrying bike shoes, I would stop to see if she needed anything.

And then on top of that, my husband drove right by me as well, like he didn't see me cause the kids thought it was funny to see me waving at them as they drove by.  Nice.

Anyway, the point of this story is I am not smart.


Andy said...

10 miles in 1/2 an hour!?!? 20 mph with a flat tire? You're a monster on the bike... ;-)

Kara said...

Clearly you need to not look like a serial killer when you go biking :)

middleagedrunner said...

This is why I don't bike. Once my chain fell off and I got all greasy putting it back on which I hated, this promoted me to quit biking for good other than to go to work. (Which is .2 miles away, literally...)

Maine Runnah said...

Just over a month ago, my husband was on an interstate overpass and suddenly his handlebars dropped right off his bike! Luckily, he didnt fall over the concrete wall, but THREE cars went by as it happened and not one of them stopped! That.. make me really mad!!