Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Things That Must Be Said In Triplicate

There are some things in this world that must be said three times in order for anyone to make sense of them.  Here is a list of what I have noticed.

1.  Brush your teeth. 

No one.  I mean, not one single person in my house will ever brush their teeth the first time I ask.  In fact, this one is probably said at least 5 times before anyone moves. 

2.  Go have a shower.

I'm not quite sure why this one takes so long to set in because showers are awesome.  Strangely enough, once they are in the shower I guess they decide they like it there because that brings us to number 3...

3.  Get out of the shower.

I don't understand what an 8 year old 45 lb boy is doing for 20 minutes in the shower (I can see a 14 year old boy.... but 8?) anyway, I get in there and he's writing on the wall with the soap or laying on the floor of the tub pretending he's in a rain storm.  Meanwhile, all is see is dollar bills going down the drain and water pooling on the floor. 

4.  Get your shoes and socks on.

What the?  Isn't that just a part of getting dressed?  Doesn't that seem like an obvious thing to do when we are trying to leave the house to get to his soccer game?

5.  Put the cat down.

Since getting the kitten, I think this is the one statement I say the most and it precedes all of the other statements.  "Put the cat down and get your shoes on."  "Put the cat down and go brush your teeth."  "Put the goddamned cat down!" 

Most annoying is when I'm cooking or making lunch or any other food preparation and they walk over with the kitten to show her to me.  Do we not have enough dog hair in our food already that we need to add cat hair as well? 

6.  Get in the car.

7.  Go to sleep.

8.  Get up. 

My life is a series of short commands said over and over again. 

I actually enjoy coming to work because I say things once and people listen. 

Can I have that chart?  Voila!  There is the chart!

I need to leave early tomorrow, can you move that patient?  Bam.  Said patient has a new appointment.

I need chocolate!  Whammo.  Sometimes, if I'm really lucky, there is chocolate.  My staff is the best.

Am I alone in my misery of threes?  Does everyone else need to speak in triplicate?  What would you add to the list?


Anonymous said...

Maybe it's because I'm a parent too, but that is the truth! My wife often complains that she sounds like a bad person because she is constantly shouting orders. Nice to know we're all in this together.

Teamarcia said...

Commands in triplicate don't even work around here half the time.