How I Even Out My Cheapness

As I'm getting older, I find that I am really cheap about some things.  Like so cheap, it's kinda silly yet I can't stop myself.  But in other ways, money seems to be no object.  Which doesn't really make sense because any money I saved by being cheap in one aspect, is used right up with other things.  So I'm even.  Like Seinfeld.

So here are some ways I manage to even out my cheapness.

Cheapo:
I cannot stand to purchase paper towels because they are such a waste of paper.  We have them, but whenever possible, I use a dish towel to dry my hands and whatnot.  Savings:  $1.29 x 30

Savings negated by:
Replacing/upgrading my cell phone at every opportunity presented to me at a cost of $250 per phone.  Cost: $250 x 2

Cheapo:
Bring lunch every single day, eating the leftovers in my fridge.  Savings: $10 x 5

Savings negated by:
Eating out on weekends with the family because I am too lazy to cook.  Cost $100 x 2

Cheapo:
Shut out lights constantly, screaming at children to shut them out when they leave the room.  Savings: unknown $10-20?

Savings negated by:
Driving all over the state (and out of state) for field hockey tournaments and basketball games sometimes incurring a hotel charge for longer distances.  Cost at least $50 for gas and $100 for hotel room at least 10 weekends.   Let's not even bother to include food, tolls, and wear and tear on my car.

Cheapo:
Clipping coupons and trying to maximize savings by purchasing the products when on sale.  Savings: $20-30 when doing really well.

Savings negated by:
Drinking Mt. Dew to cause cavities disgustingly expensive to repair.  $300 x 3

Cheapo:
Saving bottles and cans to return to the redemption center.  Even picking them up on the side of the road when out walking. $22 every 6 weeks

Savings negated by:
The number of ridiculous apps my kids ask me to purchase non-stop, not to mention the ongoing Club Penguin member fee I keep forgetting to cancel because no one uses it anymore.  Gah.  $5.95 x 12 and various .99 and $1.99 apps.

Cheapo:
Well, maybe not exactly cheapo, but smarter, frugal way to do health care--high deductible health insurance with tax deferred health savings account.  If no medical expenses savings equal around $5600

Savings negated by:
Bringing Princess daughter to the ER for a hurt knee, knowing full well it wasn't broken but didn't want to listen to her complain about it being broken all night and how I never believe her when she's hurt and I don't care about her knee and blah blah blah so brought her anyway to have the x-ray proof that it indeed was just fine.  $600

I think this might equal an Extreme Cheapskate FAIL.