how to look like an ass in front of a bunch of boys

Step 1:
Almost drive over this thing that's smack dab in the middle of the road.

Swerve to the left (!) at the last minute to avoid hitting it right in front of the police chief whose son you just picked up.

Look quickly to see that he's texting while parked and not looking at you.  Thank Jesus.

Step 2:
Fill up with gas and head back to the SAME PARKING LOT to wait for the other kid you are picking up.

Drive out of the SAME EXIT as before and this time actually RUN OVER the same sign.

Run over, as in the whole sign bends and scrapes the underneath of your car.

Winning.  NOT.

Thank Jesus again that it was 7:30 a.m. and very few people and cars were around to witness.  Pray that the car is driveable and you make it to work without breaking down.  Because then you would have to explain to a bunch of people what happened.  Pray you are not on youtube later.


This is purely hypothetical.

in which I play all the sports

I really don't know what to do with myself these weekends now that we don't have to travel all over God's green Earth for basketball anymore.  It's been quite nice to wake up and be able to do whatever, whenever.  We still have some scheduled things because when you stop doing basketball, you must pick up karate.  Right?  Isn't that what everyone does?

Anyway, so there is karate and jiu-jitsu on Sat am.  Karate first, bright and early at 8 a.m. which sucks at 7:15 when you realize, that yes, you do need to get out of bed at this ridiculous hour on the weekend, but then is awesome when you arrive at karate and have a whole hour in which to kill time while they have their class. 

Last week it was a 20 mile bike ride, this week it was a run.  Just a short run, but a run none the less. 

hello hill!  wiscasset sucks.

So my run wasn't all that long but there was apparently, a very large hill in it.  This is how it looked in person.  This was the hill to the right.

someone sucks at taking pictures

This was the view to the left partway up the hill of the previous picture.

I really didn't mind the hills, I felt like I was really doing something while running them.

random picture of the longest dock you will ever see

We got done with karate and then Sissy and I headed to the pool to swim.  2000 yds for me and 800 yds for her and we were done.  Yay us!  Double workout in a day.

But wait!  There is more!  One of the girls from Sissy's school field hockey team organized a pick up game  that night.  So yes we did!  One hour of field hockey, on the softball field because the grass was way too long on the field hockey field, with teenage girls and 2 moms.

that's me way over in the left corner with the red shirt, keeping up with the high school kid! ha

But wait!  There's more!  Sunday was Monsters University (which is awesome! go see it!), too much gross buttered popcorn and candy, a bike ride and more field hockey!

My legs were so sore from the field hockey game, which is surprising because I run a lot, but this was a different kind of running.  Much more sprinting and stopping and starting.  I made myself get a quick and dirty bike ride in--13 miles in 52 minutes--saved a turtle,

he/she was in the middle of the road!  I got him to the other side safely

and then back to the field for more field hockey.  There were more girls this time so we played 6 on 6.

 

What did you do this weekend?

No Socks and Breaking the Law

By some major miracle we have managed to have 3 days of sun here in Maine!  In a row!  It's almost like Mother Nature doesn't hate us anymore.  I am so lucky that I can get out and enjoy it during my lunch. Yesterday was a run, today was a bike.

Once again, I cannot manage to effectively push down the stopper on my water bottle enough that it doesn't leak all over my gym bag.  I swear, how many times does this have to happen before I figure it out?  Therefore, my sports bra was damp with propel water.  That feels really good to put on, in case you were wondering.

And then I forgot my socks.

Since I wasn't running and there are plenty of folks out there who do the bike portion of the tri without socks, I figured I'd give it a try.  It was better than missing my bike ride.  Turns out, the Tri Fly shoe is
pretty dang comfortable without socks.  Who knew?

sans socks

So I'm riding along minding my own on this back road in the middle of nowhere and this school bus is coming at me.  Its lights are flashing and it's getting ready to let kids off the bus.  I'm all like, shit!  I'm supposed to stop aren't I?  But I'm on a bike on the other side of the road.  In bike shoes that clip in.  Do I really have to stop?  I slow down and see that none of the kiddos are crossing the road, so I decide not to unclip and stop.

What say you all bike riders of America?  I was technically supposed to stop, wasn't I?  Would you have stopped?

One other good thing is that this is the first ride since raising my seat up that my neck hasn't killed me on my ride.  I think I probably still have to raise the handlebars a little but it is getting better.  Which totally makes me re-think getting aero bars.  I really don't want to have to get used to something new all over again when it's not likely to make me all that much faster.  It's not like I'm winning age groups here or anything.  Not to mention, they are not allowed for the 50 mile ride I have in July.  So really, why bother?

I love how this graph makes it look like I climbed Mt. Everest or something.  

I needed to post this graph even though it adds nothing to this blog post because I finally figured out how to screen capture and I love that my runtastic app shows elevation/speed and distance.  (can you say run-on-sentence?)

Do you wear socks with your bike shoes?

Would you stop for a school bus with flashing lights if you were on your bike?

How to Parent (as in, I need to know how to parent)

This parenting thing is proving to be a difficult adventure.  You have kids, you assume they are going to turn out just like you and all will be great.  They will look like you, think like you, act like you and behave like you.  And guess what?  You will be wrong. 

Then you go ahead and have 3 kids, which makes someone the middle child and BAM!  You have a recipe for disaster.

Enter child number 2.  AKA Princess. 

I love her so much, but man, that child is going to drive me to drink.  Or to an insane asylum.  Or both. 

I just don't know how to parent this kid.  At all.  At times she is wonderful and loving and just a joy to be around.  And then, at the drop of a hat, she's mad about something and will then cut off her nose to spite her face. 

She is stubborn.  Oh so stubborn.

For example, she will not brush her teeth.  I tried everything.  Bribery. Begging. Punishment.  Reward.  None of it works.  The latest was she wanted a guinea pig.  There was no way, no how I was having another pooping/eating animal to take care of.  So the answer was no.  Cue the cries of "it's not fair!", "I'll buy it with my own money", "I'll take care of it".  Over and over and over.

So I relent.  And tell her if she brushes her teeth twice a day for 30 days without fighting and does it right, she can buy a guinea pig.  So she keeps track and "brushes".  The last dentist appointment the hygienist scraped the most gross stuff off her teeth and explained all about the bacteria, showed her how to brush and really took the time to tell her what she was doing wrong and why it could hurt her. 

For most kids, this would work.  Not this one.

We went back for a cleaning 2 months early so I could make sure her teeth were staying clean and the hygienist could not believe the crap on her teeth in such a short time.  This was all with her "brushing" so she could earn the guinea pig. 

I am at my wits end here.  Seriously.  At 10 years old, I should not have to brush her teeth for her.  Right?  I shouldn't have to do that should I?  How the hell else does it get done?  And then she won't let me do it, so I have to hold her down.  WTF.  This is my life.

And then I'm mean.  And the worst mother. 

Don't even get me started on the state of her room.  There are only so many battles I can wage.  I have to pick and choose. 

So, internet psychologists, please advise.  At this point, I'm willing to take any suggestions from random strangers off the internet. 

Three Things Thursday

1.  I was able to do this yesterday for the first time ever.

an almost heel stretch! is this a yoga pose of some sort?

This is pretty epic (if I may use that word even though I am 25+ years too old to do so) for me as I am not gumby and never have been.  To even be able to extend my leg while holding on to it, is nothing short of amazing.  So please, go ahead and be impressed.  Next stop:  full extension and getting the leg higher.  Oh yeah.  And being able to do the other leg. 

How's my wheel pose coming along?  Ummm, not so much. 

baby steps. baby steps.


2.  My son got to train with Joe Moreira, an 8th degree red/black belt in jiu-jitsu last weekend.  This was a pretty big deal as Joe is the man who brought jiu-jitsu to the US.  Crazy.  And he came to Maine and held a clinic.  So cool.  It would be like, well, actually, I can't even think of what that would equate to in the running world.  Maybe training with Joan Benoit Samuelson, but still not really. 

This is Joe teaching a technique to my son!

Manimal is the one with the badass look in the yellow belt. 

There were other black belts there and other adults who were different ranks, but Joe taught equally to all levels and he was just awesome to the boys.  What a great experience!  He even signed their belts!  So cool.


3.  I, the eye doctor, was down to one decent pair of sunglasses and this happened:

what the? 

How in the world do you manage to run and wear sunglasses when the nose pad is like that?  Not comfy.  One would think that I would have many sunglasses since that is my business.  But no, you would be wrong.

Thanks to a fast mailing system and good employees, I had this 2 days later:

Woo!  Two new pairs!  Of which I will not show my husband because he will steal them and he already has 2 pairs that he's taken from me plus his own.  He doesn't need any more!

Yay to running with new sunglasses that make me look fast!

Are you stretchy?  What's the best yoga pose you can do?

I Used To Be

Lately I have been reading/hearing a lot of stories like this:

~I used to be a swimmer. We won States in 19XX. 
~I used to play softball for Stanford and I went there on a full scholarship (blog I read, clearly no one from Maine! lol).
~I used to play basketball in high school and our team won States.
~I used to play tennis and was ranked #4 in the state.
~I was a runner in high school and broke the record for <insert whatever distance you wish> but got out of it as I aged.


Anyway, you get the picture.  Seems like everyone who has a blog used to be really good at something.  Even my local friends, they all seem to have been on a team that won a state championship at something when they were in high school. 

In school, I was pretty darn average at everything.  I played soccer and was high scorer my senior year, but we didn't make it further than the semi-finals and I didn't get any awards in the league.  I played on the UMaine tennis team for my junior and senior year but that was only because the team didn't have numbers and probably should have been a club sport.  In fact, I'm better at tennis NOW than I was then.  I maybe won a match or two? the whole time.  Even academics I was pretty average, #7 out of 70.  Nothing special, no special scholarships or awards. 

I sometimes wonder how this sets us up to perceive ourselves and our achievements.  (or lack thereof)  I never ever expected to win anything, award or otherwise in sports because I never had.  I just wasn't that kid.  Therefore, I wasn't really disappointed when I didn't win, because I knew I wasn't going to in the first place.   

I wonder now, if I had felt confident in myself and felt like I was good, if that would have translated into actually being good and winning awards.  Do you see what I mean?

It's like a lot of things, if you are confident and act like you are the best, often you will perform at your best.  Or like the 0-12 team that knows it's going to lose and it plays a poor team poorly and does just what they thought they would do--lose.   Now if that same team with the same players, wins a game here and there, they begin to believe that it is possible for them to win.  Sometimes, that team just will continue to win just on sheer will, not because they were the better team, but because they believed they could win.

I have loved this about running and triathlon.  I have discovered that I can win and winning doesn't have to be about being first either.  I can't win an Ironman, but I can win a local triathlon held at our YMCA.  I can't win the Boston Marathon, but I can win my age group at a 5K in town. 

Even if I don't win or place in my age group, I can still win by beating my previous time or surging at the end to beat that person in front of me.  These sports are truly sports for everyone.  Everyone can find their place in running, everyone can win. 

Sometimes I wish I had something that I could say that I used to be. 

But I'll settle for what I am.  Average as it may be.

A mom.
A runner.
A triathlete.
An optometrist.

What did you used to be?

What are you today?

 

 

 

I apologize for the mid-life-crisis sounding post.  I'll be back to my usual sarcastic self shortly.

 



and so I'm not a princess

So today is National Running Day as you may or may not know already.  I was planning on a run regardless of whether it was some random holiday or not because it was sunny out.  My outdoor stuff revolves around the weather.  I swear that question gets asked at least 3 times a day at my house:

hubs:  did you see the weather for tomorrow?
Sissy:  mom, what's the weather today?  What do I wear?
Princess:  Is it going to rain today?

Anyway, when there is sun predicted, then I'm either running or biking.  And biking was yesterday so today was running.  Coincidentally, it is also I Don't Give a Fuck Day so that goes along with the other quite nicely. 

As in:  I don't give a fuck if it's National Running Day, it's sunny out so I was running anyway.

My run began as many others have, with a stupid non-smiling picture in the bathroom mirror. 

What? You don't take selfies in the bathroom before you run?  Who ARE you anyway?

That is my best I-don't-give-a-fuck face in honor of the day.  You are welcome. 

And 4 miles later I was done.  An uneventful run in perfect weather.  Except my stupid runtastic app froze up on me AGAIN and didn't show my full run.  Is it the app or the craptastic phone?  I just don't know.  Either way, they both suck. 

I went to take a shower before heading back to work and noticed this:

A hair elastic was in my running shoe for the whole 4 miles.  And I didn't notice.  Can you see the indent in my sneaker??  I'm not sure if that makes me a badass or an idiot.  But clearly, I am not a princess. 

And then there was this:

It's not that clear now, but that's blood on the sleeve of my shirt.  So not only did I run with an elastic in my shoe the whole time but apparently, I also had bloody snot.  So attractive. 

And I wonder why I don't have running partners...

Did you run for National Running Day?

Or are you choosing not to give a fuck?

 

Or both?  because it doesn't have to be an either or kinda thing

April and May Review

Somehow I missed my April recap so I'm combing it with my May recap.  I know you all have been on the edge of your seats waiting and waiting for this.  So here goes.

Run Miles:

    April 41.55
    May 43.2

Pretty similar mileage.  I just don't know how you guys manage to log 100+ mile months.  I can't even begin to imagine where I would tack on the other miles to get that high.  Maybe if I quit the other stuff like tennis and biking.  Or my job. 

Swim:

    April 4000 yds
    May 7500 yds

April was the month of vacation and I didn't have access to a pool, thus the swim mileage dropped a bit.  Bringing it back in May though.  I really have to get my swim in on my Friday half day otherwise it just doesn't get done.  And now the pool is closed on Sundays for the summer so there is one less day to try to get a swim in.  ugh.  If only I could get my ass out of bed at 5....

That would require me getting my ass to bed before 10 though, wouldn't it?

Bike:

    April 85 minutes
    May 275 minutes

I've got my bike on the road now and it's so much nicer to ride outside than use the boring spin bike.  I had my bike tuned and adjusted so the seat is better but now my neck is sore from holding my head up.  I think I need to have my handlebars moved up some.  One more tweak and I should be perfect.  I'm really enjoying the biking outside and am looking forward to my 50 mile ride in July.  I hope the weather is good.   Nothing worse than biking in the rain..

Tennis:
    April 6 hours
    May 6 hours

Tennis is looking to be over here pretty soon as the pro who teaches class goes away for the summer to do tennis camp at the local college.  So that opens up two hours a week for more running/biking to get ready for this 70.3 I have on my schedule. 


Weights:
    April 10 minutes (ummm embarrassing..)
    May 60 minutes


Music I Love Lately:
    I am loving Fall Out Boy still, even though it is starting to get a little overplayed.  Cruise by Florida Georgia Line with Nelly--I don't really love the original country version-- and I Love It by Icona Pop. 

Music I Hate:
    I cannot tell you how much I hate Stay by Rhianna and the more I hate it, the more the radio stations seem to play it.  Same with that song by Pink and the guy from Fun.  OMG.  Seriously.  Stop playing that song. 


Things I Love Lately:
    I am loving Biscoff, longer days, hotter days, random days off, double workout days and my newish car.  This recipe for sweet potato, arugula and tomato salad was *awesome*.  Who knew I actually liked sweet potato??  I had it at a friend's house during a birthday get together.  So so good.  And no oil in the dressing!

Things I Hate:
    Exhibit A--

Super duper close up and not very clear but can you see those pimples under my arm?  WTF.  Both armpits have them but I am not flexible enough to get a picture of both.  Anyone else suffer from armpit acne?  Shaving is a real treat.

Dog hair.  OMG the dog hair.  I could vacuum every. single. day. and not get all the dog hair off my floor.  Why must they shed?  Why?  Why don't I own a hairless dog?  Why? 

My computer that won't sent emails, but can still receive them, and for some reason I can no longer copy and paste pictures that I didn't take with my camera.  Every time I try to post a picture that's on  my computer, it shuts down and says 'windows is looking for a solution'.  Fucking hate windows.  Can't I just switch it all over to Apple products?  Please?  And then I'm too stupid to know how to fix it.  Pity how pathetic I am.

Current Books:
    Just finished The Good American by Alex George.  I liked it.  More historical fiction.  I'm now reading (or trying to read) some book I can't remember the name of but it's weird and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to finish it.   I really need some good books to read.  Any suggestions?

What are you reading?  Do share.  But not if it's some stupid Danielle Steele crap.

Have you ever tried something you hated as a kid only to find that you actually like it?