slow ass, fall on ass and fat ass

This past weekend was just a pile of craziness and just left me exhausted by Sunday.  Friday was the day of the field hockey clinic that I had organized so I was pretty excited about that.  There weren't many girls that signed up because of other conflicts but they agreed to hold a one-day clinic rather than cancel completely.  I thought that was a great compromise. 

Despite the small number and the stupid rain (we haven't had rain in 4 weeks!! of course it rains on the one event we had planned...), I think it went very well.  The girls that came had a good time and the camp coaches were already wanting to plan for next year. 

The next morning was the 3rd Annual Lobster Roll 5K run right here in Boothbay Harbor.  I want to try to run this as many years as possible and keep my streak going so even though I was pretty tired and didn't feel like going, I went anyway.  Sissy decided to run it too this year so that was nice.  I offered to run with her, but she wanted me to go ahead and try to win.  (I placed in my age group the first year.) 

I really thought I was running this race pretty fast and would finish like my latest 5K times--around 24:00 something.  I was pretty bummed to see 24 already on the clock as I was approaching the finish line.  Crap.  My finish was 25:20.  Gah. 

Holy freakin' slow ass.  My best time was 24:01...  What the heck?  The only reason I can come up with is that I was with my daughter near the back of the pack when the start gun went off.  There wasn't chip timing so I was behind the pack going across the start and then it was crowded at the beginning so it took some time to find some space.  I also think I wasn't around anyone that I knew was faster than me to chase.  They were all up ahead so I really didn't know where I was time wise.

My theory that I run faster without my garmin is now blown.  Perhaps if I had known I was slower than I was, I may have picked up the pace a bit.  Oh well, next race.

Sissy did pretty well considering she had done nothing to train for this race.  She had run a 5k one time before about a year ago so this was her second one.  She finished in 29:38.  A pretty respectable time for zero training!  I am so proud of her that she wanted to try even though she hadn't been practicing.  She wants me to bring her running more so maybe running can be the thing that we do together. :0)

Sunday was a day of laziness.  I did take 12 mile bike ride in the morning, which ended up being a good thing since it rained all afternoon and early evening.  We laid around and watched the Olympics which should be renamed crack-olympics, because once you start watching you cannot stop.

It really doesn't matter what is on--dressage, beach volleyball, field hockey, fencing, table tennis--I just can't stop watching.  I mean really, when would you ever sit down and watch fencing?  And find it interesting?  And want to continue to watch?  And then cheer for girls who aren't even on the USA team?? 

I'm going to need intervention and treatment soon.  Is there an official disorder for Olympics addiction?  Maybe I can qualify for disability....  I kid, I kid.

Last night I played with the high school girls (and Sissy) 4 on 4 field hockey.  Let me first start by saying that running long distances is completely different than sprinting here and there on a field hockey field.  I'm pretty sure I could have beat all but one of the girls in a 5k race and certainly a 10k, but I was totally sucking wind after 10 minutes of field play. 

Oh and running sneakers are not suitable footwear for stopping and starting quickly on grass.  Says my ass this morning.  Since I fell on it twice last night.  Thank goodness I wasn't the only one who did a booty plant.  I was, by far, the oldest one there and I don't think I made too much of a fool of myself.  I mean, other than the falling on my ass thing.  Who knows, they are probably still laughing at me this morning.

haha you suck and didn't even know it!

Teenagers always make me feel a little uncomfortable.  I'm not sure what it is, but I feel totally comfortable talking to 20 somethings, 30 somethings and anyone older.  But teenagers, I just feel like they are thinking they can't wait for this god-awful conversation to be done so they can stop standing next to this super-uncool old lady. 

Insecure much?

And to top it all off, I got on the scale this morning for the first time in months, and I'm up 5 lbs.  woo.  A product of too much cinnamon toast, nutella and chip and dip. 

Have you ever had a race where you thought you were doing well, only to find out you were slower than you thought?

Do teenagers make you feel insecure?

Sounds That Send Me Over the Edge!

This topic is just too good to skip over today.  I was going to write some lovely, entertaining, thought-provoking blog today about my weekend but then there was Stasha with her Listicles on Monday again and I just couldn't pass up this topic.  10 Sounds That Make You Crazy--what a great topic!  So I'm all in for Listlcles today and you'll just have to wait until tomorrow for that riveting blog post...

Sounds That Make Me Crazy

1.  Kids toys that beep, whirl, talk, sing or make any noise at all.  Those were created by the devil for grandparents to give to their grandkids in order to get back at their own kids.  That is really the only explanation I can come up with for why those toys are available.  The noise setting is on 'make you deaf' level and there is no way a kid can learn anything valuable from Elmo laughing from being tickled or Buzz Light Year repeating "To Infinity and Beyond!".  They are just sheer hell. 

Any toy like that that happens to enter my house has a one way ticket to Goodwill.

2.  The beeping noise my car makes when the automatic doors are not shut properly.  I was close to tears one drive home when I couldn't make the stupid thing stop. 

3.  Multiple noises at once.  TV on, kids talking yelling (because no one just talks in my house), phone ringing, and dog barking all at once is my private torture chamber.

4.  The waffling sound any SUV or minivan makes when the back windows are down and the front windows are up.  I could commit murder-murder-suicide under those circumstances.  It physically hurts my ears--the noise combined with the pressure of the air making the sound.  Ai yi yi.

It. Physically.  Hurts.  Me.

Can you tell I have sensitive ears?

5.  A radio commercial that is played locally where the guy is brushing his teeth while talking.  Oh my.  That brush brush sound is unbearable.  Who the hell thought that was a good idea for a commercial??  I hope he's fired.

6.  Repetitive noises of any kind.  Foot tapping, lip smacking, clicking of the tongue, dog panting, balls bouncing off the wall, kids chanting.  Whatever.  It doesn't matter.  I can tolerate a noise one or two times, but over and over?  No way. 

7.  The window air conditioner that runs constantly in my bedroom.  All. Summer. Long.  Arrrrrghhh!  So freakin' loud.

8.  The nasally voice of any female from the New Jersey area.  Gah.  Awful.  Just awful.

9.  Cell phones ringing.  There isn't a ringtone in this world that I can stand to hear.  Mine is on vibrate.  Always.

10.  My kids talking back to me when they are in trouble.  Seriously.  It is clear that I am mad, why, why, why do they insist on pleading their case and telling me their side of the story when I saw the whole freakin' thing??   Just be quiet.  Quiet is what I want. 

Isn't that what we are all looking for?  Just some quiet.

Birthday Listicles

This week for Listicles it's all about the Birthday.  Yours, your kids, love them, hate them, whatever.  So here are my birthday observations.

1.  I used to tell everyone and their brother about my birthday.  I would, in fact, countdown until my birthday with comments like, "6 shopping days left until my birthday!" to anyone who would listen.  Because really, Aug 23 was all about me.

2.  Number 1. is not that exciting anymore as I approach (gasp!) 42.  I end up sounding like an old lady full of herself.  And no one likes that.  You can tolerate a cute 23 year old blabbing along about her birthday but at 42, that ship has sailed.

3.  When did birthday parties for kids go from being 5 of your friends at your house, eating a Duncan Hines cake from the box, squirting each other in your yard with the hose to elaborate theme based birthday parties such as the ones I have given my kids?  Sea Dogs baseball party, Red Claws basketball party, pony rides party, pool parties, and $35 Cold Stone Creamery ice cream cakes just to name a few.  I am clearly either too lazy to do things myself or just a fool.

4.  I love that many restaurants will give you a discount or a free item on your birthday.  I try to visits as many as possible in that one day.  Bummer that it is only for that day and not your birthday week.  My birthday this year is on a Wednesday--unlikely that I will be going out and about to collect my freebies since that is a workday.  boo.

5.  I share a birthday with Rick Springfield.  You know, "Jesse's Girl"?  General Hospital?



6.  I was born on the cusp of two zodiac signs.  Some horoscopes say I'm leo, some say I'm virgo.  I like leo better so I go by that one.

7.   I love birthdays better than Christmas.  To me, a birthday is a much better reason to spend crazy amounts of money on someone than the disgusting spectacle that Christmas has become. 

8.  As a kid, I never really liked having my birthday in the summer.  I always missed out on the birthday parties that the whole class would come to.  I would have one or two neighbor friends, but when you are in school, somehow the whole class gets invited.  Also, I never got the special button to wear during school, or getting to be the special helper of the day because it was your birthday. 

On the other side of that, I never had to get up to go to school on my birthday.  Never had homework or a test on my birthday.So maybe a summer birthday was not such a bad thing.

9.  Because of my summer birthday, I was one of the youngest in my class.  This means the last to get their driver's license, the last to get to vote, the last to turn 21.  The latter being the hardest.  That summer before turning 21 was so hard with all my friends going to bars and me having to sneak in with a fake ID not go.  My kids are so lucky with their November and May birthdays.

But wait!  Now I'm the last one to turn 40 and 50!  Ha!  I'm younger than everyone in my class now!  Maybe this August birthday thing is a good thing!


And that completes my list of birthday observations and remember--28 shopping days until my birthday!!

Help me choose!

Which skirt should I purchase for the Beach to Beacon road race in August?


This one:

OMG I love this so much but it's $75 freakin' dollars!

Or this one, you'll have to follow the link since it won't let me copy the picure:

http://www.skirtsports.com/shop/product.cfm/id/1017-Gym-Girl-Ultra-Pink-Matrix-Print


Help me choose!

Thanks! Listicles style

Time for another list courtesy of Stasha at Northwest Mommy.  This week is all about thanks.  A list of 10 thanks for the day.  I have so many, I just don't know where to start....

1.  Thanks to the tourist from Connecticut who as we were passing each other in our cars, he heard my sneeze and yelled out his window BLESS YOU!  Once I was done with my sneeze, I yelled out THANK YOU and then had a good laugh.  One small act of politeness to rub out all the annoyances that the summer people bring. 

2.  Thanks to my daughter and a stapler my shirt went from this:

to this:



Just like new!  Who knows what kind of attention I would have received all day long if she hadn't spotted that gaping hole....

3.  Thanks to the Portland Sea Dogs for a wonderful birthday party for my son and a meeting with a pitcher.

 Will Latimer--let's hope he makes it to the Red Sox!

4. Thanks to Crocs.  Although ugly as sin, they are the best summer shoe going for boys.  Hands down.  No tying of laces.  If they get dirty, hose them down.  They slip on and off with ease.  They match everything.

5.  Thanks to the parking ticket guy who wrote me a ticket in Freeport on Saturday.  That was nice.  I would have been completely in the damn spot, if the jackass in front of me hadn't taken up 1 1/2 spots.   Why didn't you ticket that idiot?  I wasn't in the crosswalk or poking out into the road.  All for 15 minutes in the Nike outlet.  And I didn't even get any new running shorts.  Wah.

6.  Thanks to my children who still think I am all that and a bag of chips. 

7.  Thanks to my Honda Odyssey who after 190k miles, just keeps running.

8.  Thanks to the summer people who bring their money to our little fishing village and allow folks to make a living here.  Even if it is only for 4 months out of the year.  Now if you all would just break/lose/dump overboard more of your eyeglasses, that would be great. 

9.  Thanks to our air conditioning at the office that is choosing not to work on the most humid of days.  All my patients really enjoy the sweat that is dripping of my face on to their laps as I look into their eyes.  It's the little things that make my office special.

10.  Thanks to powers in the lobster industry that I don't understand, lobster prices are at an all time low.  Seriously folks, if you love lobster, now is the time to enjoy.  I swear, it's cheaper than deli meat right now.  Help these lobstermen out and buy, buy, buy lobster!  If you want some lobster and don't know where to purchase it, just shoot me a message.  I know plenty of local lobstermen that would be more than happy to mail some out to you.  I'll hook you up!

Happy Birthday to my Baby

Manimal turns 7 today.  My youngest is 7.  This makes me feel a little bit old. 

fat?  who are you calling fat?  doesn't everyone have 6 chins?

I love this kid so much!  He is the sweetest boy ever.  He's smart, athletic, and handsome. 

Blue is the new black.

Ice traps?  It's what's for Christmas!

I love you, little man!

AC Battles

The air conditioner.  I have a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with the air conditioner.  Not the one in the car, not the central air at work, but the stupid in-the-window kind that we have in our bedroom. 

Every summer sometimes in June but always by July, we have some hot/humid enough weather that we drag the air conditioners out of the basement and put them in the windows.  (When I say we, I mean, my husband.  I don't do any such thing.  Laundry is bad enough.) We have two.  One for our bedroom and one for my oldest daughter's bedroom. 

In our old house we actually had to remove the window pane (because it rolled out and not pushed up) to put the air conditioner in.  This meant that we were rocking the ghetto look with a lovely piece of tarp or cardboard covering the open window above the AC.  Yes, it's a great look.  I'm sure you will see it in Martha Stewart's Living magazine shortly.  In our newer house, we have normal windows so it goes in like regular.  At least that's one plus.

Once that AC goes in the window, my husband, who is part polar bear, wants the damn thing to run 24/7.  All day everyday.  Whether we are home or not.  80 degrees or 60 degrees.  It doesn't matter. 

I would rather just run it when we need it.  Like for sleeping.  That's it.  I'm mean really!  Otherwise, it's just a waste.  All the electricity being used to keep a room cool when we aren't even home all day.  It really just drives me insane.  Plus, I'm cheap and I hate the fact that my electric bill goes up $100 a month while using the AC. 

So from now until October, we will battle.  My polar bear husband and I.  I turn it off.  He turns it on.  Even last night when it was actually cooler OUTSIDE than it was inside with the AC on.  We had lows in the upper 50's last night!  And of course, the stupid AC was on.  I swear he does it just to irritate me.

Does anyone else have AC battles?  Strangely enough, we do not have the same battles with the heat in the winter.  We both agree on that.  63 degress and that's all you get.  Cold?  Put on a freakin' sweater or run up and down the stairs. 

Isn't this the cutest thing ever?  I love Angry Birds!  They aren't just for kids.

Are you an AC lover or hater?

Angry Birds addict?

What I Would Miss and Not Miss

Stasha's doing it again, like every Monday--it's time for Listicles!  This week's topic is 10 things you would miss and not miss if today was your last day.  Kinda sad topic but a good one to help keep things in perspective.  Make a list if you want and link it up to her site.

Things I Would Miss:

1.  My kids.  Dearly.  Their beautiful faces are why I get up and do what I do every morning.

2.  Seeing what those kids mentioned above would do with their lives.  What they become.  What they accomplish. 

3.  Laughing with my husband.

4.  Driving my car with the sunroof open on a bright sunny day.

5.  The beach.

6.  My cats.

7.  The smell of lilac trees.

8.  Ice cream.

9.  Being outside running, biking, whatever.  Breathing fresh air.

10.  Getting to meet my birth father or at least having him know about me.


Things I Won't Miss

1.  Traffic

2.  Drama and those that create it.

3.  Mondays

4.  Bills--credit cards specifically. 

5.  Grey hairs, wrinkles and aging in general.

6.  Bullys.

7.  Laundry.

8.  The shortest days ever in the winter.  Get up in the dark, come home in the dark.

9.  Hurrying and still being late.  I swear, I'll be late to my own funeral....

10.  Smokers.

Random Thoughts for Thursday

1.  I got this email yesterday:

Congratulations Michelle BOUCHARD. You have qualified for the 2012 USA Triathlon Olympic-Distance National Championship after finishing in the top 10 percent in your age group at the Bath Area Family YMCA Y-Tri Sprint Triathlon.
Bahahaha!  While this is super cool, it's also pretty funny.  Like I have an iceberg's chance in hell of placing at all.  I kinda wish it wasn't in VT.... I might actually go to it.  (Knowing all the while that I'm going to get my ass kicked... lol)


2.  Yesterday I was able to get a 5 mile run in with the kids.  They all rode their bikes while I ran.  Everyone did great for the first 2 miles, but then Princess bailed on us and called dad for a pick up.  It was actually a lot better than what I expected since she just learned to ride a two-wheeler 3 weeks ago! 

Nice face.  That's my "I'm such a badass runner" face.

3.  Binocularing.  That is the word Princess used to describe this symbol:

I like it.  It makes perfect sense.

4.  I got this in the mail the other day and I'm looking forward to trying their product.

I've never been a fan of any power or protein bars so I'm not sure about those, but I can't wait to try the protein drink!  Have you tried any of this product before?  Did you like it?

5.  Danielle, who commented on my previous post, is brilliant!!  She was right on with locking the touch pad on my laptop.  That stopped all the crazy letter adding and deleting and skipping to other parts of my typing.  Unbelievable.  Something that simple.  I guess I must have been touching the pad, ever so lightly, and causing all that curser movement.  Thank you, thank you!  I am no longer driven to a suicidal state by my computer. 

6.  We had the most unpatriotic 4th of July ever yesterday.  We had great plans but the threat of weather botched them up.

On the negative side:
--no lobster bake.  postponed until sat.
--no fireworks.  postponed until tonight.
--no sun = no beach
--trip to Wal-Mart for one item = $175 worth of other items.  friggin hate that store.

On the positive side:
--slept in until 8:30.  unheard of.
--5 mile run/bike with the kids.
--went to see the movie Brave.  Excellent movie and empty theater.
--clean house
--regular bedtime

All in all, not such a bad day!

How was your 4th?  Did the weather mess things up for you?

June Review

June review--looks like I took WAY too many days off this month.  But it's summer and you're kids are out of school--so what do you do?  You spend time with them, that's what you do!  Beach days and strawberry picking and going on the boat.  You don't get those back if you miss them. 

Bike minutes--347 up from last month!  And I have spent some of that time actually riding a bike!  36 miles, to be exact! 

Run miles--39 down 10 miles from last month.  ugh.  I thought I had done better.  Oh well.  There's always July.

Tennis--2 hours

Swim--2525 yds.  Pretty poor showing.  I missed almost all my swim workouts due to going on field trips with the kids at the end of school, school being out, and then this past Friday, picking up my daughter from basketball camp.  Oh well.

Weights--30 minutes

Races--I had two races this month.  The first was the YMCA Bath Sprint Tri which I grabbed FIRST PLACE!  Yes, actual first place.  Crazy.  I know.  It won't ever happen again but that's ok.  The second was the Rail Trail 5K and I came in 3rd in my age group.

Current Excitement--nothing too exciting going on right now.  Kids are super busy with all their sports camps and we are driving them to and from.  Thank god for my driving nanny/babysitter and all her help in that department.

But what is really getting me going is the Olympics!  The Olympics, Wimbledon and the Tour de France!  Between the three of those things, I can't think of anything that could be more inspiring to watch!!  I want to watch it all--swimming, gymnastics, soccer, basketball, field hockey!  Cripe, I'd even watch curling if it were on.  I wish I had DVR so I could record all the stuff that is on at 2 a.m.  Hmmmm.. maybe I'll get DVR just for that.

Current Annoyance--I don't know if this happens to anyone else or not, but with my old computer and now with this new one, whenever I type something (like this blog....), I will be typing and then all of a sudden I'm in a totally different part of the text.  Or it will randomly delete whole paragraphs, and sometimes the entire blog, without me pushing any keys to do it.  This is 90% of the reason why I got a new computer and now this new one is doing it too!  WTF!  I'm a pretty fast typist, so it really sucks to be typing along and see that you are not where you thought you were.  To have to stop and delete is a real pain in the ass.   It doesn't happen on my mac, just my PCs.  Yet another reason to put these PCs in the trash.  Does this happen to you?

So if you see a random letter in the middle of a word that doesn't make any sense, then you'll know why.

Current Music--I just downloaded She's So Mean by Matchbox 20, and I was totally jamming to a dancier version of Like a Prayer on the Retro Pop Reunion yesterday.  I'm still trying to find it on itunes.

Current Books--both of the books I talked about last month were excellent.  Dreams of Joy and One Thousand White Women.  If you get a chance to read them, you should.  I just finished My Mormon Life.  VERY interesting read.  I did not grow up Mormon, but I remember having almost all these thoughts that the writer expresses in this book.  Heck, I still have those thoughts.....Where science and religion just don't make sense together.  I have some pretty unpopular opinions on religion in general, which I won't share here but if you want to hear them, message me.  Anyhoo, I enjoyed this book.

Current Challenge--I signed up for the Planks, Pushups and Squats challenge hosted by Tara Burner.  So far I did 25 pushups yesterday, 2 sets of squats and 2-30 second planks today.  Here's to nice arms by the end of July!

How was your month?