1. I took my son to a spot yesterday where many of the local kids like to jump off the bridge into the water. He didn't jump, but did swim in the area nearby. While we were there, I saw this:
Can you say, redneck?
In case you can't tell, that is a sailboat with a blue tarp for the sail. Hmmmmm. Just when I thought I had seen all possible uses for a blue tarp, I now have learned yet another.
2. In line today at the Dollar Store (don't judge, the Dollar Store rocks.), I realized that I had forgot to grab tissue paper. I left my cart there, in line, and ran (I really did run) and got the tissue paper. When I came back, the same person was still checking out, the same person behind her was still waiting, my cart was still in it's spot, but a woman had put herself in front of my cart in the line. Mind you, I was gone for all of 15 seconds. Seriously. She just cut in front of me because I was gone for 15 seconds. Hmmmmm.
I mean I can see if she was ready to check out and I wasn't there, but there were still two people ahead of me! I was going to let it slide and let her go in front of me because, clearly, at 72, she had many more things to do than I did and was in a rush.
Just then another cashier looked at me, at the back of the line, and asked if I wanted to come to lane two. Ha! Take that, cutting-in-line lady.
3. The pressure tubes that hold up the hatchback of my van have broken. You have no idea how much those things are needed until they no longer function for you. Imagine trying to load ANYTHING in the back of your minivan while holding the hatch so it doesn't come slamming down on your head. Unbelievably irritating. Not so much something that makes you go hmmmm, but it is most certainly something that makes you say f**k.
4. My sprint tri from 6/3 was postponed until 6/17 because of the crazy rain we had that day. Not sure if someone checked the calandar, but 6/17 is Father's Day. Hmmmm. Not exactly the most convenient day to reschedule the race to.
Umm, hubby? Yes, I realize that this is Father's Day, but can you watch the kids while I head to my race today? Oh, and maybe bring them up to cheer me on? Don't worry, it will be done by noon. Then you can have the rest of the day to do what you want to do! Oh wait, you mean it's not about me today??
5. Why is it my kids basically ignore me when I'm home after work, while making dinner or folding clothes or some other tedious task, but the second (and I mean the exact second) the phone rings for me, they are at me with some impending crisis that I must fix at that moment. Why? Why?
6. Ditto above for the toliet. Seriously, I have not crapped alone without someone opening the door asking me what I'm doing, for years now. What am I doing? Really? sigh.
7. Why does my son insist on wearing the old sneakers with holes in them and worn soles, instead of the fairly new ones we bought just two months ago?
8. Why does my husband insist on doing this and expect me to be happy about it?
I have no words really. Like being half bald wasn't bad enough....
It got shaved the next day. My handsome boy, looks handsome again.
9. Work related so most of you won't get how crazy annoying this is, but patients that show up for a contact lens check (says so right on their appointment card), without their contact lenses. It's a Contact Lens Check! Hello!!
10. I will have proof of this on Thursday morning--when three kids stay up late before a school day, no one can get their asses out of bed, but on a rainy, shitty weekend day or after school is out (Thursday..), said kids will be up at the crack of dawn, dressed and ready to go.
And they make sure you are up as well. Moooommmmm! I'm hungryyyyyy! <clock reads 6:01>
Yah, thanks for that.
4 comments:
I love this. Sorry.
Got a good laugh out of it!!
Dollar store. I love the dollar store but honestly every time I leave...I leave with a random story like yours. So funny.
Fathers day race...ya that organizer probably isn't married and or has "daddy" issues. ;)
Men should not be in charge of kid's haircuts! And you are the third person in listicles who's kids never sleep in if they are off. I think it is an epidemic. Have a great race on Sunday!
Our old black Acura has the same issue with the hatch! Boy, does that hurt when it fall on your head.
Things that make you go "hmmmm...." I have so many of them from life in the public library, I can't even tell you. My favorite was the lady who asked me if I had a Band-Aid for her paper cut. When I said no, she said, "Well, could you go LOOK for one then?" Makes me WANT to be a useless govt bureaucrat when people talk to me like that....
I LOVE the dollar store, and I desperately want to sleep late on weekends. I'm so impressed that you're doing a sprint tri--that's probably why armpit fat is not on your list the way it is on mine:)
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